Darwin Awards do produce great video

So much for small government

The right-wing Governor of Michigan apparently thinks there is no level of government below that of the State.

The decision-making authority of elected officials in Benton Harbor, Michigan was suspended under a new emergency manager law passed by Republican Gov. Rick Snyder.

In a speech Wednesday, Snyder said he also wanted to abolish the minimum number of hours children are required to be in school. He announced that he was targeting 23 school districts for takeover by state-appointed unilateral executives.

"Every single one of those places has just been told that them having locally elected officials, that's a problem," MSNBC Rachel Maddow explained Thursday. "That democracy is in the way of making things more efficient in Michigan, that Democracy is not the way we fix problems in America, that it is a problem."


Snyder is going to learn about Democracy the hard way apparently.

A Washtenaw County elections panel approved language this morning for a recall petition aimed at Gov. Rick Snyder.

The three-member panel voted 2-1 to approve the petition, clearing the way for the group Michigan Citizens United to begin to collect signatures. They would need the signatures of 807,000 registered voters collected within a 90-day period to force an election.

Look all you want for them, we'll make more

Business is good in the perpetual war game -- it is virtually guaranteed we'll make more:

A slurry of internal memos reveal what many of us have long suspected: that the rules under which alleged terrorists are incarcerated at the U.S.-run detention center at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba are elastic, arbitrary, and in many cases criminally unjust. According to the documents, much of the evidence held against the 172 prisoners at Guantanamo is circumstantial and often obtained through torture. The coerced confession of Mohammed al-Qahtani, for example, a Saudi national suspected of complicity in the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks, was filed away as evidence against some 16 of his fellow inmates without any reference to the manner in which it was produced. In some cases, prisoners identified as highly dangerous were freed, apparently under diplomatic pressure from their mother countries that happened to be U.S. allies in the War on Terror. Meanwhile, Guantanamo inmates held for years on the most specious grounds ended up committing terrorist attacks against U.S. targets after their release. As its 10th anniversary looms, it can be safely said that the Bush administration’s ham-fisted response to the September 11 attacks has created as many terrorists has it has neutralized.


Oh, when we start considering Abu Ghraib, and predator missile attacks, and the regimes we've propped up, I think it is guaranteed we are far out producing what we eliminate.

He's been a dumbass, a racist, and a loudmouth for a helluva long time

And usually keeps incredibly creepy company:

Fred Trump, Donald's father, was, unlike his son, a self-made man. He made his fortune by building thousands of units of middle-class housing in Brooklyn and Queens. But in the early 1970s, Donald was made president of the family company.

One of Donald's first challenges came in October 1973, when the Justice Department hit the Trump Organization with a major discrimination suit for violating the Fair Housing Act. The Times reported:

... the Government contended that Trump Management had refused to rent or Linknegotiate rentals "because of race and color." It also charged that the company had required different rental terms and conditions because of race and that it had misrepresented to blacks that apartments were not available.


The journalist Gwenda Blair reported in her 2005 Trump biography that while Fred Trump had sought to combat previous discrimination allegations through "quiet diplomacy," Donald decided to go on the offensive. He hired his friend Roy Cohn, the celebrity lawyer and former Joseph McCarthy aide, to countersue the government for making baseless charges against the company. They sought a staggering $100 million in damages.

An accurate summary to say the least

Republican (and old stereotypical Iowan) Chuck Grassley's twitter account makes Sarah Palin seem like Chaucer:

Always pleased to see a Republican meet the public

Sorry, I'm not available to donate a kidney this morning

I'm laughing because the village just cannot let their admiration for the swells go this morning...even when it is another country's version.

Alabama

It seems like the world is facing maladies, calamities, and tragedies every other week these days.


A logical place to direct whatever dollars you can spare would be The Red Cross.

Other organizations, local or national, to which you typically direct help? Put links in comments, please.


All I'm going to say

Regarding prima facie asshole fantacist Joseph Farah, World Nut Daily pocketbook and Donald Trump adviser, is this:


Harry Reems called and he wants his pornstache back.

Are he and John Stossel sharing rodents?

US Supreme Court: Corporations are not just "persons" they're "Uberpersons"

Boy Old "I'm just calling balls and strikes" sure seems seems to award nothing but home runs for Corporations:

Fine print in everyday consumer contracts can include provisions that require Americans to surrender their rights to file class-action lawsuits, the U.S Supreme Court ruled Wednesday, overturning a lower court ruling.

The ruling could have immediate impact on consumers’ ability to fight against companies when they feel their rights have been violated. It also raises questions about the future of class-action cases.


Haha, you got poisoned, oh, and fuck you.

Obama: "We don't have time for this silliness"

Wingnuttia and FoxNews (Redundant?)

"But it's our ONLY Act!!!"


Now back to Rockridge.

Horrible national disaster in the South

Wonder how many of the self-proclaimed self-defined ultra-patriots who wished the South had win will still accept the federal funds declared available by Obama needed to rebuild their Galtian trailer-parks?

(Yeah, I'm a bid pissed off an jaded on all the stupidity of the last few decades)

Box Office Shrugged, Sagged, Shived


Conservatives are going to have to just settle for Birth of a Nation and seeing Jesus get eviscerated for their box office glories. Apparently going Galt really means not buying a ticket for a lousy movie.
"Critics, you won," said John Aglialoro, the businessman who spent 18 years and more than $20 million of his own money to make, distribute and market "Atlas Shrugged: Part 1," which covers the first third of Rand's dystopian novel. "I'm having deep second thoughts on why I should do Part 2."

"Atlas Shrugged" was the top-grossing limited release in its opening weekend, generating $1.7 million on 299 screens and earning a respectable $5,640 per screen. But the box office dropped off 47% in the film's second week in release even as "Atlas Shrugged" expanded to 425 screens

No, Mr. Aglialoro, we all just won.

(pic via monkey_bob99x at flickr.com)

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Line of the Year

I have thoroughly enjoyed Charles Pierce predictably being one sports writer (among other things he writes about) that doesn't scream on ESPN and doesn't kiss the ass of the Commissioner of the NFL -- and yes we are looking at you Peter King. Besides, who has come up with a better line than this to describe the Wall Street Journal editorial page (which Goddell used yesterday) than this?

Highlights For Plutocrats


Which would make, as discussed below, National Review a "Stroke Mag for Sociopaths".

Bwahahaha

Via Tbogg, this week's NRO cover:



Well, it is good they put it on the front page so Jonah's pages won't stick together, and though "Mr. Bogg" (like I'm the NY Times!) has one fine interpretation, I prefer the Rich Lowry Special Edition:

"Can you name one other candidate who could make a Casino go bankrupt?"

And Jefferson Davis would have loved Ayn Rand!

Chalk up another irony when Republicans wave the Stars and Stripes and wish it contained a couple bars:

In North Carolina GOP voters are almost evenly divided on the outcome of the war with 35% glad for the North's victory, 33% ruing the South's loss, and 32% taking neither side. Democrats (55/15) and independents (57/14) have similar numbers to Georgia but due to the greater ambivalence of Republicans about the northern victory, overall less than half of Tar Heel voters (48%) are glad the Union won to 21% who wish the Confederacy had.


I do share something in common with most Republicans, I'm glad Lincoln isn't alive to see this, though for different reasons.

Meanwhile...

The survey found that only 24 percent of Republican voters in North Carolina believe Obama was born in the U.S.


Wonder what the percentages would be regarding the Thirteenth Amendment? Not that there could possibly be a correlation.

It's totally not about race, right?

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Let the Race Baiting be unleashed full throttle.


You are the fictional intellectually gifted white child of a wealthy and powerful man (are there are other kind?) who is somehow wrongfully deprived of a Harvard Education despite your incredible gifts for holding liquor, discretely dispensing Rohypnol to girls you are interested in and mocking Jewish kids. Oh, noz, you'll have to go to Dartmouth or Princeton, the horror, the horror!!!

According to Donald Trump's latest increasingly racist bloviation, a Magna Cum Laude graduate of the Harvard Law School somehow deprived you of your birthright.

It's positively un-American.

Well, here's a good reason to have a password

If your broadband uses Wi-Fi , as frankly many, if not most of us with more than one PC do (this is rather sad but at present I live alone and have 1 classic desktop, one all-in-one desktop, and 1 regularly used laptop -- pathetically I also have two other laptops and two desktops that are in the closet waiting to be recycled, seven computers for one person...plus the PC I use at my office -- hard to believe I've been single so long, right ladies?*) you may want to make sure you use a password. Not simply because it might keep you from getting hacked in the classic manner. Rather, it might prevent this:

A man was accused of downloading thousands of images of child pornography. Disgusting and gross, right? Yup. But it wasn't him! Turns out, it was his neighbor that had tapped into his home's open Wi-Fi network who downloaded the child porn.



*2011 submission for longest sentence ruining parenthetical.

A sign of the times

For the GOP:

Ron Paul to Explore Presidential Bid


Three years ago, Ron Paul was the craziest Republican candidate.

Now he's in the top three in sanity and the guy who is arguably the sanest, abuses dogs, thinks he wears magic underwear and just stated Obama is spending too much in a time of peace.

Totaled Recall

A tale of two parties.

A recall petition against Cowles will be submitted to the Government Accountability Board this Thursday, putting the number of Republican senators facing recall elections at six after signatures were delivered against Alberta Darling on April 21.


So for the Democrats that's six out of six in their efforts. How are the Republicans doing?


A recall effort targeting two Democratic state senators has fallen short at the deadline.

Organizers had until Monday afternoon to turn in petitions to recall Sen. Lena Taylor of Milwaukee and Sen. Fred Risser of Madison. But the organizers failed to meet the deadline.


Apparently, there was not enough free booze available.

I just hope there's enough of the latter to help Scott Walker govern.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Oh lord...


Joe Klein plus Andrew Sullivan -- about a column by Bobo Brooks? Serenity Now!!!

Andrew Sullivan is my friend. I admire many things about him, but given the superficialities of blog life, I sometimes forget just how fabulously profound he can be.


(pic from here)

Of the modern modes of government

If we consider "monarchy" to be a modern system...because let's face it, it is probably the oldest...where other than monarchy and republican democracy has a child following their parent ever made for a decent ruler?

Not that the odds are all that great in either Monarchy (I mean King Louis was awesome, but his son King Louis was terrible, and his son King Louis was then not so bad but then his son King Louis was the worst) or a Republic. There were Pitt the Elder and Younger in Britain, but in America we've gotten John & John Quincy Adams -- average at best and George & George W. Bush, about which you can only say, well, they weren't the Duvaliers (if for no other reason than no one would ever call the latter Bush "Doc" for any reason).

But nobody does worse than the dictatorship. From the North Korean Kims to the Hussein brothers to the Assads.

So is he getting recalled first...or signed up for FoxNews as a commentator first?

Gotta get some knob in the Chamber for 2016.

Little did anyone know that Gov. Scott Walker was such a huge fan of recycling.

Just look at his latest jobs announcement.

Walker recently took credit in a widely reported press conference for creating 125 jobs at a state manufacturing plant, even though then-Gov. Jim Doyle announced the same new jobs back in December.


Sadly, not a turkey processing plant.

Never say it cannot get even worse

Sigh:

Suspects were nabbed and shipped to Gitmo because they wore cheap watches. A specific model of watch — a Casio style released in the 1980s — was suspected to be used as a timer by al-Qaeda operatives. People in Afghanistan were seized and sent to the detention facility because they were wearing the watches, but most have been quietly released because of a lack of evidence.


Good thing they weren't "Swatches" because everyone who appeared on MTV in the 80s would have been arrested. Run "DMC" Run!

And Paul Ryan thinks it is awesome!

While layoff thousands of employees and taking the company into insolvency, it is nice to see Border's has it's priorities straight:

A lawyer for bookseller Borders Group says a judge has approved paying executives up to $6.6 million in bonuses as the company works to reorganize under bankruptcy court protection.


So another edition of fuck the employees, the "real" victims here are the well-paid executives who guided this company into the toilet.

USA! USA! USA!

A Real Confidence Builder

The New York Times has published files related to the prisoners of GITMO since the Fall of 2001 and the details are about as uninspiring and depressing as you would imagine.

In May 2003, for example, Afghan forces captured Prisoner 1051, an Afghan named Sharbat, near the scene of a roadside bomb explosion, the documents show. He denied any involvement, saying he was a shepherd. Guantánamo debriefers and analysts agreed, citing his consistent story, his knowledge of herding animals and his ignorance of “simple military and political concepts,” according to his assessment. Yet a military tribunal declared him an “enemy combatant” anyway, and he was not sent home until 2006.


That's a real endorsement of the military tribunals. Maybe they kept him around to give Mickey Kaus tips? I'm sure this gentlemen is now a real fan of American values.

And speaking of which:

The documents show that a major reason a Sudanese cameraman for Al Jazeera, Sami al-Hajj, was held at Guantánamo for six years was for questioning about the television network’s “training program, telecommunications equipment, and newsgathering operations in Chechnya, Kosovo, and Afghanistan...He was released in 2008 and returned to work for Al Jazeera.


I guess it could have been worse, the Bush Administration could have "accidentally" attempted to blow him up again and again and again.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

The struggle

A story detailing the recovery and struggle of Gabrielle Giffords -- and showing how those urging her to run for the Senate or resign should both shut the hell up.

There were hopeful language signs even on the March day that Giffords learned about the people killed on Jan. 8. She had been told there were more bullets, Kelly says, but she didn't yet know that there were deaths. He was reading aloud to her from the New York Times - a story about Giffords herself. She followed with her eyes over his shoulder, noticed that he skipped a paragraph, and grabbed the paper out of his hand. He hadn't realized how well she could read.

The paragraph told of six dead, many more wounded. Kelly comforted Giffords while she cried. Her grief spread over days and weeks.

"So many people, so many people," Giffords repeated.

Her nurse Poteet would find Giffords with heavy looks on her face, repeating "no-no-no-no-no."

"She was thinking of it like she couldn't believe it," Poteet says. "She kept saying, 'I want so bad,' and she was trying to talk about it. But it was too many thoughts in one."

For that reason, Kelly hasn't told Giffords that the shooting victims included her friends and colleagues Gabe Zimmerman and Judge John Roll, or a 9-year-old girl, and three others, the kind of older constituents she loves to help.

So...

How many more hours have the news networks already devoted to a Royal Wedding few people in this country (or anywhere) give a shit about, versus how much they've spent on the GOP's determination to end medicare that people do give a shit about?

I'm celebrating Easter...

By still observing Earth Day.



Earth and the Moon from not quite four million miles away by the departing Galileo spacecraft.

(Via TPM)

"Yeah, I'm an asshole, so what?"

Why not just make them shop at "Burlap R US", or "Barrels, Old Newspapers & Beyond"? Poor people need to be needlessly humiliated -- how exactly would this be enforced jag off?

Under a new budget proposal from State Sen. Bruce Casswell, children in the state’s foster care system would be allowed to purchase clothing only in used clothing stores.

Casswell, a Republican representing Branch, Hillsdale, Lenawee and St. Joseph counties, made the proposal this week, reports Michigan Public Radio.

His explanation?


“I never had anything new,” Caswell says.


And in the spirit in which it was offered, perhaps he could amend the bill to require yellow stars be sown upon the clothing, so it can be more easily inspected for authenticity by the authorities?

(via ql at Atrios)

Not just for the Sabbath Anymore

Ash Wednesday, Maunday Thursday, Good Friday, Easter Sunday, Manic Monday, Taco Tuesday...

What of poor Saturday on the Religious calendar? They just passover it.

I suggest "It's All Bullshit Saturday".

At least the Bermuda Triangle is a myth...

I thought about getting the MLB.com package last year hear in Des Moines to use the internet to stream games in high def onto my 50 inch plasma. And then I learned I could pay about $150 bucks to not see my team (the Twins) ever play because their games were blacked out on that system if I lived here. So not getting it was an easy decision.

Now I learn that Iowa is essentially "the black hole" of baseball coverage. Not only are the Twins blacked out, but so are the Royals, Cardinals, Cubs, White Sox and Brewers.

I know this is vitally important to the rest of you.

So close

To the ironic Darwin Award he so richly deserves:

Notorious Koran-burning freak Pastor Terry Jones is up in Dearborn today protesting the purported (i.e., non-existent) imposition of Sharia Law in the city. And he made a big to-do about bringing a pistol to the protest.

And now, alas, there's been a fatality: the floorboard of Jones' car.

Jones is apparently so handy with a firearm that he managed to accidentally discharge his weapon in his car.

"Please let me grab your ears and rub your Reaganesque hair helmet as your head goes into my lap...


We'll recreate that one scene in 'Born on the 4th of July' -- MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE PAUL RYAN....MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE!!!!!!!!!"

(pic via Sadly, No)

I know how we'll get rid of Qaddafi now

Tell 'em John McCain's gonna fly an F-8 in the direction of where he lives, that SOB has a bout a 1 in 5000 shot of auguring the son of a bitch within a 10 mile radius of that muftied-up bastard and about a 2 to 1 shot of crashing it into somebody.

Here's my guess (like it is really a guess, we all know this) ol' Johnny boy is gonna somehow fall in love with yet another war that demands escalation.

That and the Sun will rise in the east.

A trio of self-proclaimed GOP heroes

Let's have a good solid Bronx Cheer for these three survivors of the burger wars:

Cliff Stearns (R-Florida) who added a provision to the 9/11 Responders health care bill last May that requires the tens of thousands of police, firefighters, emergency personnel, and construction workers etc. who sacrificed themselves for others that day to first be run through the FBI’s terrorism watch list. If they have a similar name to a suspected terrorist they will be barred from getting medical treatment. Because clearly Cliff Stearns anti-terror bona fides are beyond question, while some guy who ran through fiery debris to save others might be a terrorist enabler...or voted for Cuomo.

And then there's Senator James "Global Warming = Nazi" Inhofe (R-OK), who fresh off buzzing the tower and trying to land on people upon a closed runway, had his latest bit of saying whatever he pleases. Inhofe proclaimed natural gas fracking never poisoned anything -- the day after a gigantic poisonous spill in Pennsylvania.

And then finally, there is -- arguably -- the greatest Republican exemplar of them all. Senator John Ensign (R-Nev) who proved that there's no greater power in a Republican household than mom and dad's money. This true Republican hero reportedly will resign his Senate seat as soon as this morning.

Someday they'll be on stamps...in a random well-bribed Caribbean nation.

Well, nice try

But perhaps I just long-ago (like what, a month ago?) reached my "Friday" parody limit.



I still prefer this classic (like what, five years ago?)

Hot K-Lo pork related action


See her show she's the real kielbasa queen!

A special surprise was waiting this morning for those who subscribe to Jim Geraghty‘s Jolt newsletter.

Well, here’s an awful start to Monday morning: apparently the links in today’s Jolt are sending people to porn sites.

Like a Palin handling a condom

Real Madrid takes a break from playing Barcelona repeatedly and winning the Spanish Cup by handling the trophy like an Arsenal goalie.*






*soccer humor, really big here in the States.

Can't we compromise and have them all lose?

It is like Mao sues Pol Pot:

BP Goes on a Suing SpreeBP went after three companies yesterday with lawsuits for "misconduct" (ha!) and for tarnishing its good name over the Gulf of Mexico oil spill last year, most notably Halliburton.

Here's a picture to get the flesh eating bacteria of our stupid discourse out of your brains

The universe is still gigantic, magnificent and elegantly and inertly doesn't give a fuck:



On April 24th, 1990, the Space Shuttle Discovery roared into space, carrying HST into orbit and into history. In honor of this anniversary, astronomers have released a new image of the interacting galaxies Arp 273

I imagine New Jersey's will be one of orange flesh

Arizona and Utah have a state gun now.

Those Republicans sure are working overtime on jobs legislation.

Cue the sad music

Because apparently unless Newt Gingrich finds a rich prospect for wife number four, he's already looking well-toasted in the 2012 race.

Newt Gingrich raised a meager $53,000 into his political action committee in the first three months of the year, highlighting potential fundraising difficulties as the former House Speaker girds for a campaign for the GOP presidential nomination...




Meanwhile the even crazier Michelle Bachmann raised $2.2 million.

Say, that sounds like a match, Newt. Hope you have enough to send flowers.

Maybe Newt could try the Donald Trump way and get richer through bankruptcy?

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Godwin Wins!



What the hell is a "Latey" Gaga?

Oh, timely disclosure

This just in, the Kaiser's abdicated!

The CIA lifted the lid on one corner of the cloak and dagger world of World War I, declassifying six of the oldest secret documents in the U.S. government archives, the agency announced Tuesday.


I guess we'll get to see those Cheney Energy Task Force minutes in the 23rd Century.

It's April 20th

And though I really don't give a shit and never did many of them, here's a little something for you:

Finally a workable slogan

Vote Bobby Jindal, 2012, he's very interested in your penis.

“It’s not part of our package, but if the legislature passes it we’ll sign it,” Jindal press secretary Kyle Plotkin told POLITICO in a written statement.


I'm sorry, what's not a part of Bobby Jindal's package?

Kyle Plotkin? Really?

Now I'm mad

Someone is writing a book about re-captioning the Family Circus and no one contacts Atta J. Turk?



I can only imagine how angry the Dysfunctional Family Circus guy or these folks must be.

Bring on the Rapture



We, as a culture, have clearly reached the ziggurat!



Or at least 2/3rd of the way there.

No scratch that, all the way.



To be accompanied by the wii Texas Schoolbook Depository.


Cannot pull off her signature black cocktail dress anymore


So Ann Coulter's latest "book" with inaccurate endnotes and everything just zooms in on a picture of the thing as it lays on the floor of her latest imaginary conquest's imaginary bedroom, where her victim discerns a very real spire.

Although even that's edited. We all know that not only is the dress no longer inky black, it would be covered with years of encrusted stains from the fapping right-wingers she insists surround her at all times for her to devour like the praying mantis hybrid she is.

And hey, enjoy your morning everyone now that these images have been provided you.

(pic via TBogg)

Lost his very tiny sweater

Via Firedoglake:

One less job for your Moyel

Jan Brewer, amazingly, does the right thing as opposed to the "Right" thing. It's a stopped clock kind of day apparently.

Well, I guess there's no need for an election


Not when the Donald has secured the coveted endorsement of the insane.

[Busey] said he would vote for Donald Trump, even though he fired him, because he “would be an absolutely good” president. “He knows about this country. He knows the situation we’re in now.

A lesson from the Master

As goes Rupert:

Scotland Yard has accepted for the first time the extent of the phone-hacking scandal when it told a court the number of potential victims whose voicemails were targeted by the News of the World is likely to be "substantially" more than 91.

A high court hearing to timetable and organise the growing civil claims for damages against Rupert Murdoch's News International heard that the new police investigation believed the scale of potential victims was much higher than leading officers had previously said.


So goes his greatest student:

The small-town newspapers in New York's Hudson Valley that Fox News chief Roger Ailes owns with his wife Elizabeth are in a staff revolt after employees caught Ailes spying on them with News Corp. security goons.


[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Why is this night different from all other nights?

It's not. As per usual, I'm doing all my colleagues' work.

Meh.


Atlas Grifted

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Overqualified to be on FoxNews

Hilarious and pathetic, still smarter and less embarrassing than a barrel-full of Doocys:



And the same idiot has a track record.



via here.

Ladies and Gentlemen

The very definition of a laconic:



Ah, the modern stupidity of treating your life like a television show.

Shorter Mary Matalin

If only we'd had children working in coal mines, kept women from voting, and kept African-Americans share-cropping things would be awesome now!

Good luck Rupert

The phone-hacking of Rupert's News of the World just gets worse:

Scotland Yard has accepted for the first time the extent of the phone-hacking scandal when it told a court the number of potential victims whose voicemails were targeted by the News of the World is likely to be "substantially" more than 91.

A high court hearing to timetable and organise the growing civil claims for damages against Rupert Murdoch's News International heard that the new police investigation believed the scale of potential victims was much higher than leading officers had previously said.

Heaven's Galt


It has been a bad weekend for the nation's aspiring Dagny Taggarts and Howard Roarks.

First, their shellacked hero got his tender feelings hurt by the President from the front row.

Then, the book that forms the naive nature of their political philosophy had reviews that showed it to be on par with 'Freddy Got Fingered'.

And then, Sunday morning, there was this from one of their club:

“I think we need to let the so-called Bush tax cuts all to expire,” Greenpsan said Sunday on NBC’s “Meet The Press.”

Greenspan, who led the Fed from 1986 to 2007, said the federal tax rates should go back to what they were under President Bill Clinton. In 2001 and 2003, Bush lowered the tax rates for almost all Americans.


Paul Ryan was last seen struggling to swallow his jujube between sobs.

(pic from monkey_bob99x at flickr.com)

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Shocked, shocked!

To find the states with the worst roads, usually have the worst attitude toward government.

Time for another round of...

I was only JOKING!

Marilyn Davenport, a Tea Party activist and member of the Orange County Republican Party's central committee, is drawing fire from people in her own party after circulating a racist email depicting President Barack Obama and his parents as chimpanzees. In the email: "Now you know why — No birth certificate!"


Donald Trump considers it quite the knee-slapper.

Oh, here comes the rationalization:

"Oh, come on! Everybody who knows me knows that I am not a racist. It was a joke. I have friends who are black. Besides, I only sent it to a few people--mostly people I didn't think would be upset by it." [...]


So just to other Republicans then.

Apparently

The lesson of this week is that after years of being called 'appeasers' or 'traitors' it is the height of incivility to call out Republicans on asinine and cruel policies because it might hurt their tender fifis.

Good luck with that....seriously

And I mean that:


The operator of the crippled nuclear power plant leaking radiation in northern Japan announced a plan Sunday to bring the crisis under control within six to nine months and allow some evacuated residents to return to their homes.

Meanwhile...

Officials reported late Saturday that radioactivity had again risen sharply in seawater near the plant, signaling the possibility of new leaks. Workers have been spraying massive amounts of water into the overheated reactors and spent fuel storage pools. Some of that water, contaminated with radiation, has leaked into the Pacific.

Bwahahaha

So the teabaggers had a sucky demonstration with a couple thousand at best people waiving don't tread on me (instead let Koch tread on you) banners with intellectual titans Sarah Palin and Andrew Breibart confirming their electronic deposits and speaking to the assemble collective intelligence (all together they'd make a singular MENSA associate member).

There were even more counter-protesters.

With Walker having admitted the whole thing was not about saving money -- in fact it ended not saving a dime, naturally Palin was praising the costs savings ... and Breitbart was his normal projecting self.

At one point conservative blogger Andrew Breitbart took the stage and told the labor supporters to "go to hell."

"I'm serious!" he screamed. "Go to hell! You're trying to divide America!"


Screamed while his bladder was trying to divide his pants.

Shorter summarized Donald Trump

"I'm not so good with the Asians"

What a gigantic prick.

Awe that's too damn bad

The FBI on verge of shutting down poker sites...especially the big ones. Fraud involved, color me shocked!

I'll have the bisque

Bobo Brooks has a hissy of a Gingrichian variety over some imaginary social snub:

"It is sad, although not strange, that in today’s Washington they have never had a serious private conversation. The president has never invited Ryan over even for lunch."



Given how Ryan's plan is to rob the poor to give to the rich ("stupid bitch"), I think Obama's reticence to have Paul Ryan over for lunch falls into the category of Barack Obama, protector of spoons.

How effing socialist!



Image from here.

More of the wit and wisdom

of TV's Frank:

Well there is one sure thing about Atlas Shrugged

It's sure to be a strong candidate for the same treatment that made seeing Battlefield Earth more tolerable.

...although I'm pretty sure it will be a tough movie even for those guys, as it appears to be pretty much all static dialogue at conference tables.

Shit

I have a copy of my birth certificate somewhere for some reason but cannot find it right now and also I cannot find my foreskin.

Now I'll never be President.

This years model

I think we've found a future "FoxNews" contributor:

The state's investigation into vote irregularities in Waukesha County will stretch back at least five years, the head of the Government Accountability Board said Thursday.

Questions over vote totals in Waukesha have lingered over the last week, after County Clerk Kathy Nickolaus announced she failed to report more than 14,000 votes from the city of Brookfield in initial vote totals...

Additional questions surfaced after Nickolaus posted a note to the clerk's website this week explaining discrepancies between the total ballots cast in several elections and the votes for particular offices. In many cases, the number of votes totaled more than the number of ballots cast.

The results for the 2006 attorney general's race, for example, show 174,047 votes for either Democrat Kathleen Falk, Republican J.B. Van Hollen or write-in candidates, a total that is 17,243 votes higher than the total ballots cast recorded elsewhere in the results.


Sign her up Rupert.

Surely the best reviewed movie since...


An American Carol!

It's hard to believe that Paul Ryan's favorite work of fantasy fiction (along with Reagan Erotica and Robert Samuelson -- redundant?) about a person's desire to justify infidelity through stultifying and hackneyed prose does not make for compelling cinema -- though it works well enough for early morning blog posts.

As a Nobel Prize winning economist once said, the best summary of Atlas Shrugged: the Novel is this:

There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.


But if you're Rand Paul it can involve both.



What we can say about Atlas Shrugged: the Movie is that it has been judged even worse than another translation of another stupidly-worshiped book Battlefield Earth. So at least it is a good day for John Travolta.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

I always "tip" 15% regardless of race

Actual quote from the asshole:

"I have a great relationship with the blacks"

- Donald the Trump today

This will truly help them in their mourning


And bring on new mourning. How does Japan get this before Iowa? This State lives (and mostly dies) on these sort of things!

The Meat Monster. The website Opposing Views says the "aptly named sandwich" consists of two hamburgers, a chicken breast, two slices of cheese, three pieces of bacon, and, of course, lettuce, tomatoes, and onion.

Total calories: 1,160. That's more than half the daily recommended amount for a 40-year-old woman of average height and weight. (A regular Whopper has 670 calories.) Japanese customers can also personalize their Monster, adding teriyaki sauce, an egg or even a fish patty.


Also, sandwiches that sound like bad porn movies for $600, Alex.

Sing it Nancy!



I guess they were too busy trying to keep poor women from getting pap smears and old people from getting medicaid.

Miscellaneous works of fan fiction

Congressman who stands around letting people ask "who is going to shoot Obama?" at townhalls moves on to other areas of personal fantasy -- occasionally not involving two-ply wetsuits and ballgags.

GOP Rep. Broun: FDR Was A Communist


And in that vein, I feel sorry for Paul Broun and his sex-life of unsolicited baby donkey-fucking.

I believe the only logical explanation is

That Trig Palin was born in Kenya and that William Ayers is the father.

I have a rather limited partisan agenda

If it makes Paul Ryan flee a room or John Boehner cry it is good. If it accomplishes both, it is awwwwwwsssssommmmmme!

And the Republican solution is "less health care" available

Oh, they hate abortions...hell, they hate all birth control, but here's what they love, cutting medical benefit programs for the poor. And the result?

In the United States, the stillbirth rate is twice as high for black women as white women and is also higher in households with less income and education.


But they care sooooooooooooooooooooo very much about babies.

One of the worst stories ever

Sickening from 13 years ago:


A 15-year-old rape victim was forced to stand terrified before her entire Baptist congregation in New Hampshire to confess her sin of having become pregnant.

What Tina Anderson wasn't allowed to tell the congregation was that she had become pregnant after she was raped by a church deacon, a man twice her age.


via Booman.

They'll sell your soul to the company store

Ah, yes this sounds like a capital idea!

Three Republican senators on Wednesday will propose a Social Security reform package that would raise the retirement age to 70 and cut benefits for the wealthy.

Sens. Lindsey Graham (S.C.), Rand Paul (Ky.) and Mike Lee (Utah) previewed their proposal on Fox News, saying that it will put the entitlement program on a long-term path to solvency without raising taxes.


Yes, that's very Republican of 'em and even higher than the Catfood Commission. Make sure more people don't get their benefits and all don't get as many benefits while at the same time keep the workforce static. Good idea during a time of high unemployment.

But don't criticize it too much or Lindsey Graham might throw a tantrum.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Public Response to today's Obama speech

On the deficit:

Overwhelmed 15%
Underwheled 15%
Whelmed 40%
Who? 5%
Garble, garble, birth certificate, Kenyan, Muslim, gun needs bigger barrel so I can fuck it 25%

Earth Farts -- will have to be called awesome

Well, we cannot have this...millions in lobbying dollars will say so!

Cornell University professors will soon publish research that concludes natural gas produced with a drilling method called “hydraulic fracturing” contributes to global warming as much as coal, or even more.

The conclusion is explosive because natural gas enjoys broad political support – including White House backing – due to its domestic abundance and lower carbon dioxide emissions when burned than other fossil fuels.

Cornell Prof. Robert Howarth, however, argues that development of gas from shale rock formations produced through hydraulic fracturing – dubbed “fracking” – brings far more methane emissions than conventional gas production.


What could possibly be wrong with drilling for earth farts?

But that Asshole had accepted Jesus as his No. 1 Savior and Penalty Killin' Goon

Clean slate, clean slate!

The vast majority of abuses documented by Human Rights Watch were perpetrated by forces loyal to Gbagbo against real or perceived Ouattara supporters, notably members of political parties allied to Ouattara, as well as West African immigrants and Muslims. The documented abuses include targeted killings, enforced disappearances, politically motivated rapes, and unlawful use of lethal force against unarmed demonstrators. These abuses, committed over a four-month period by security forces under the control of Gbagbo and militias loyal to him, may rise to the level of crimes against humanity as defined by the Rome Statute, which created the International Criminal Court (ICC).


Of course Gbagdo also lost an election...something Republicans don't take kindly to, but apparently lacked a sufficient number of Brooks Brothers suit wearing rioters to hold on to power. Oh, and he isn't a Muslim.

President Barack Obama called Alassane Ouattara, the democratically elected president of the west African nation Ivory Coast, on Tuesday to congratulate him on assuming his duties...

At about the same time, Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK) was on the floor of the Senate backing Laurent Gbagbo, the incumbent president who refused to step down from his office after losing an internationally certified election in November.


The man was killin' brown people for Jesus, so he must be a true Angel of the Lord.

Here's something that will never be said

"My fellow Americans, as your President I plan on doing nothing"

Because doing nothing is better than doing whatever the Obama Administration is getting ready to once again pre-compromise with the Republicans over. Doing nothing, includes, actually doing "something" by not doing anything -- letting the Bush Tax Cuts expire. God forbid that would ever happen. Not with the God upon whom the Republicans have obtained a patent -- the Free Market God of easy handguns and tough to obtain reproductive freedom as opposed to the "do unto others..." bullshit commie-God. Doing nothing is also something that there would not be enough votes to do anything about. Let's make it a meme, or at least a hashtag.

It may not be the best plan, but it is better than the plans to be deemed serious. So naturally, Mr. 11-Dimensional Chess, has undoubtedly already ruled it out of the picture.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Why Twitter was created

Colbert releases a series of statements about John Kyl in honor of the latter's refusal to apologize for lying about Planned Parenthood.

Somebody tell Steve Doocy

Walgreens is offering free colonoscopies, or as he knows them, annual physicals.

Could have been worse, could have been non-sacred Fruit of the Loom:

So today's pointless question is...

Is Mitt Romney's campaign logo stolen from AquaFresh?



Normally, I'd doubt such a thing, but there is precedent.

In other news, Kathryn Lopez is now brushing between meals...as opposed to having one continuous dining experience.

Aw, too bad

Rummy's newly obtained Pentagon documents reveal a much better title for his poorly selling memoir:

"I have a high tolerance level for possible error."

I know I'm a prima facie traitor as defined in modern parlence

But once again, I can think of little less productive to "winning hearts and minds" than sending in predator drones to inflict cold, calculated, and often innocent death from the skies.

I believe the word I'm looking for is pretty much evil.

Stopped Clock notices other clock's hands are not moving

Film at 11:

On MSNBC’s Hardball with Chris Matthews today, former Senator Alan Simpson (R-WY), co-chair of President Obama’s debt commission, railed against the social conservatives in the Republican party. He admonished male legislators for voting on abortion issues and “homophobes” like Rick Santorum who say “cruel, cruel things” about gays and lesbians

Fifty years ago

This is a nice summary of that morning in Kazakhstan fifty years go when Gagarin made history.

Commemorations and Memorials

In a way this day, April 12th has more commemorations and memorials than most days. The U.S. Civil War essentially began this day on April 12, 1861 -- and the GOP can now officially proclaim they've switched sides. Fifty years ago, Yuri Gagarin became the first man to be launched into space. Twenty years later was the first launch of the Space Shuttle.

But all-in-all these commemorations may pale, at least in imminence to this:

Japan raised the severity of its nuclear crisis to the highest level on Tuesday, putting it on a par with the world's worst nuclear disaster at Chernobyl in 1986 because of the amount of radiation released into the air and sea...

It had previously been put at a 5 rating, on a par with the 1979 Three Mile Island incident in the United States.


Well, at least they've stopped dumping radiation on the ocean. And that's about it for the good news.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Now that's how FoxNews does it!

What a little advertising revenue will get you:

According to a company press release, war megacontractor KBR was voted one of the 50 top companies for women by readers of Woman Engineer magazine


Because other than the occasional requirement that rape victims stay locked up overseas and compelling them to arbitrate, I can see just how awesome KBR must be.

Tectonic plates are great...unless you live by one

Jeebus, another one.

Japan on Monday widened the evacuation zone around a stricken nuclear plant exactly a month on from a huge natural disaster as another 7.1 magnitude quake and tsunami alert strained nerves anew.

Funny, I thought our crushing deficit was our biggest threat?

We punish more poor people!!!

The Unites States, with costly military operations in Afghanistan and Iraq, increased spending by 2.8 percent to $698 billion -- about six times as much as China, the second-biggest spender ahead of Britain, France and Russia. In 2009, U.S. spending grew 7.7 percent.

"The United States has increased its military spending by 81 percent since 2001," SIPRI said. "At 4.8 percent of gross domestic product, U.S. military spending in 2010 represents the largest economic burden outside the Middle East," said SIPRI Military Expenditure Project chief Sam Perlo-Freeman.


God forbid, we spend slightly less money on bombing and occupying places as a means of reducing the deficit. That would be logical and smart, and completely un-merkin!

Dear Base, you can count on me to do the absolute minimum

Behold the power of ....Cha-cha-cha-CHANGE!

President Obama had just agreed to House Speaker John Boehner’s request to include a Republican policy rider to ban taxpayer funding of abortion in Washington, DC, but Boehner wanted more: to defund Planned Parenthood.

The response from the president was blunt.

“Nope. Zero,” the president told Boehner, according to a senior Democratic aide. “And then the Speaker tried to engage it.”

“Nope. Zero,” the president replied again. “He was like, ‘John, this is it.’”

“There were a good 10 minutes of just sitting there of everybody looking at each other,” the aide recalled. “I mean, it was like, there’s nothing to do here. The store’s closed.”

“It was awkward, like, what do you do now?”


You know what's awkward? Being told to be relieved to find a vestigial remnant of a spine where a real one should be. Well that and two men deciding whether they could settle for symbolically allowing women to be insulted rather than just going ahead and punishing them outright.

Sure, Barack Obama's negotiating strategy is to meet other side 95% of the way there rather than take even a permeable line in the sand...as an opening bid. However, you can count on him, when the chips are down, to barely lift a finger...sometimes not the middle one.

Now shut up base and give him money! This kind of compromise doesn't come without costs.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Religious fundamentalist culture that disdains displays of any kind


Naturally, to build world's largest display of phallic overcompensation.

Donald Trump perturbed.

Sums it up

Taibbi:


Paul Ryan, the Republican Party’s latest entrant in the seemingly endless series of young, prickish, over-coiffed, anal-retentive deficit Robespierres they’ve sent to the political center stage in the last decade or so...the Republicans trot out one of these little whippersnappers, who offer proposals to hack away at the federal budget. Each successive whippersnapper inevitably tries, rhetorically, to out-mean the previous one, and their proposals are inevitably couched as the boldest and most ambitious deficit-reduction plans ever seen. Each time, we are told that these plans mark the end of the budgetary reign of terror long ago imposed by the entitlement system begun by FDR and furthered by LBJ.

Never mind that each time the Republicans actually come into power, federal deficit spending explodes and these whippersnappers somehow never get around to touching Social Security, Medicare or Medicaid. The key is that for the many years before that moment of truth, before these buffoons actually get a chance to put their money where their lipless little mouths are, they will stomp their feet and scream about how entitlements are bringing us to the edge of apocalypse…

The absurd thing is that Ryan’s act isn’t even politically courageous. It’s canny calculation, but courage it is not...

No matter what, Ryan’s gambit, ultimately, is all about trying to get middle-class voters to swallow paying for tax cuts for rich people. It takes chutzpah to try such a thing, but having a lot of balls is not the same as having courage.

Patriojism

Booman highlights a telling quote in the NY Times from old GOP head James Baker that tells you all you need to know about which brand the Republicans in Congress are going to line up behind soon over the debt limit:

“If I were still Treasury secretary, it would worry the hell out of me,” said James A. Baker III, who served in that office for President Ronald Reagan, during a time when the total federal debt nearly tripled over his two terms. “But it doesn’t worry me as a good Republican, and one who wants to finally see some fiscal responsibility in this country.”


The ultimate IOKIYAR quote. Sure, it will be a disaster for the nation and for those in it who aren't rich... but fuck 'em.

Pretty much all you need to know

About how "serious" the GOP is about deficit reduction in one headline:

Deal To Avert Government Shutdown Saves $38 Billion — Bush Tax Cut Deal Spent $150 Billion


Not that we can expect Dancin' Dave on Meet the Press to ever bring it up, after all that deal probably saved him six-figures annually, how it affects you or the country he could give a rat-fuck about.

Not reported much over here

But the eaves dropping scandal of one of Rupert Murdoch's properties in England is getting pretty close to the Big Wanker.

News International remains under pressure from public figures affected by the phone-hacking scandal after its apology and admission of liability.


Not that the Tory government will dare gore one its biggest enablers.

John McCain's gonna be jealous

Dancin' Dave Gregory is going to give Paul Ryan a 48 minute handy this Sunday.

Funny how any number of Congressman who don't engage in fantasy, advocate universal health care coverage and are not the headliner in a Ronny Reagan drag show are free to attend the champagne brunch of their choice...for a nominal fee of $16.99.

Shut down averted by Symbolism

Apparently, the GOP settled for a symbolic vote over whether or not ladies parts make Republicans sick in the Senate.

Lindsey Graham must have demanded that one.

Not at all bearing the appearance of shadyness

And here I was pining for the days of Katherine Harris, when the new one was right before me the whole time:

“So Kathy Nickolaus was hired at the Capitol years ago by….get ready…David Prosser....She was granted immunity from prosecution to testify during the 2002 GOP Assembly caucus investigations, where she worked in the illegal GOP caucus. And now she runs elections in Waukesha County? I couldn’t even make this stuff up if I tried!”

Shorter Andrew Sullivan in History

Since his ox wasn't being gored...yet...he'd have been awesome in Berlin 1935:

The in-tray is still bulging with fury over Herr Hitler. I find the arguments bracing – and in themselves evidence that his proposal to restrict the rights of Jews have already helped move the debate to more earnest grounds.


This would be followed, naturally, by praising some "scholarly" research about the "bell curve" nature of head shape showing that White people's heads were more awesome and reflective of intelligence (sans Jews) than the heads of other races.

Now, I'm not saying Sully would be a Nazi, he just wouldn't turn against them until they made him cut out a triangle to wear.

Hey!

I just talked to a friend of mine in Florida, he just found 7,500 Gore votes in his PC file next to all the porn and intimate shaving videos he's downloaded.

Alert the media!

You know those old 2000 election jokes remind me of the halcyon days when insane Republicans were defined by Katherine Harris instead of Michelle Bachmann. Good times.

1995 all over again

Replaying their greatest twits:

At a late-night White House meeting between the president and key congressional leaders, House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) made clear that his conference would not approve funding for the government if any money were allowed to flow to Planned Parenthood through legislation known as Title X. "This comes down to women's health issues related to Title X," a person in the meeting told HuffPost.

The negotiations are dominated by men: All of the principal negotiators in both parties are male, as are most of the senior staff involved. (House Democrats, led by Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (Calif.), have largely been left out of key talks.)


These riders, which obviously have nothing to do with spending and everything to do with the GOP's social agenda (and great job everybody...oh, sorry you men excluding women from being involved at all) were the same things that shut down the government when Clinton and Gingrich were involved.

Back then, these facts, and how the "deficit" issues were plainly bogus were actually widely reported to the citizens of this country.

Now...let's just call that unlikely.

Introduction to Crazy 101


Ah yes, the college years...American style.

Binge drinking among American college students is on the rise, along with its consequences of drunk driving and drinking-related deaths


Granted, that is from not quite two-years ago, but there's no reason to think it is any better. So it is good to fulfill the fantasies of Glenn Reynolds' by mixing places of higher learning and even higher keg stands with this:

The Arizona House on Thursday approved a landmark bill allowing guns on campuses...

The Republican-led House voted 33 to 24 to allow firearms to be carried in the open or concealed in public rights of way, such as campus streets and roadways.


What could possibly go wrong?

And, of course, this being Arizona, what a well-timed response to issues of public concern:

"We're allowing people to defend themselves," said Rep. David Gowan Sr., a Republican, who voted for the bill.

"The purpose of carrying a gun with you is to defend yourself against that aggressor," he added.


Jered Lee Laugher couldn't agree more with that sentiment.

(pic from andertoons at flickr.com)

[Cross-posted at Firedoglake]

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