Banned Words of 2011™: The Final Cut

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Because it's never too early to put the world on notice...

1. Breathless: Stop breathlessly describing your frenemy's blog post as "breathless".
2. Bipartisan: Simultaneously the most meaningless and dangerous word in American politics.
3. Elites: May only be uttered when referring to David Brooks.
4. Folks (when uttered by any politician): This has simply got to stop.
5. Frenemies: So very Gretchen Carlson. Hey! Let's ban her, too!
6. Hippie Punching: For Christ's sake, I know you think Obama is trying to provoke you personally, but really -- it's not about you.
   
7. Homeland: Still awful after all these years.
8. Lamestream/Mainstream/Establishment: If you are on television using any of these words, you are lamestream/mainstream/establishment.
9. Real Housewives of ___________. Aren't there already enough cultural outlets for your misogyny?
   
10. The American People: See "Folks", above.
    

Happy new year, Hegemaniacs.

res ipsa's One Simple Rule for a Good New Year's Eve

(I'm re-posting this from last New Year's Eve because I think it clearly demonstrates my genius.)

The Rule: No Reflecting.

Zero.

Not even for a moment.

More than ten eleven years ago, I was in a shrink's office on the afternoon of New Year's Eve and the phone was ringing off the hook. It rang so often and so seemingly loudly and at such long intervals that it distracted us from the work of our session (which was probably to talk me off the ledge regarding some guy I did not like and who did not like me, but who inexplicably seemed like Mister Right at the time). The shrink said, "What is going on?" and I said, without missing a beat, "Too much reflection".

On New Year's Eve, you look in only one direction: forward.

Tomorrow, in the clear light of The Day After, you can reflect. And if you're too exhausted or hungover, put reflection off until Sunday, or, even better, Monday.

In the meantime, look forward.

Happy New Year, Hegemaniacs.

P.S. No resolutions, either. You have Goals: clear, concrete goals. You're not going to "Exercise more", you're going to "Walk one mile a day in January and increase the distance by a half-mile in each succeeding month." But formulating goals might involve reflecting on what you have or failed to accomplish this year, so table those until tomorrow, too.

What Digby said...

She's got the psychology of Ralph Peters down.

Let us end the year with some schadenfreude

As this year comes to an end -- and good riddance am I right? -- let us reflect on the one right-wing war enabler that has actually managed to actually lose status with the Village.

Two weeks ago Swopa noted that Judith Miller had gone from being able to say she worked for the New York Times on her byline to saying just that she was a "FoxNews Commentator".

Actually, it is even better than that:

Now she's writing -- on contract, not full-time -- for Newsmax

Oh she can get right on that birth certificate thing.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Question

Am I the only person in America that despises Apple? Seriously. I hate Apple. My iPod is okay (although I'm still using a years-old second generation model that a kid once told me was "the size of a coffin!"), but the MacBook? Please. And the iPad? An expensive joke. iPhone? Don't have one. Don't want one. I read this, scratch my head, and think, " Apple's software is "intuitive"? Really?" I find it counter-intuitive. I am no Luddite. I have been using computers since forever. I honestly don't know how I'd do as much writing and legal drafting as I do without one. I have a Blackberry and I get why it's helpful (primarily so that I can sneak out of work on personal business but appear to be at work). But I got a MacBook four years ago and I have hated the goddamn thing (and felt like a chump who got suckered into buying one) every day since. Every time I would express doubt or regret about my purchase, someone would try to address my complaint by saying, "But you can buy a [INSERT NAME OF OVERPRICED APPLE ACCESSORY HERE] and that will fix your problem". Jesus, I got sick to death of hearing that refrain. Last summer I was given an iPad to try for six weeks. I gave it back after three days. Have you ever tried typing on that thing? Yes, yes, I know. I can buy a separate keyboard. Whatever. Anyway, I received a new non-Apple laptop for Christmas and I am thrilled. Is there something wrong with me? I just don't get Apple. What am I missing?

P.S. The piece that inspired this rant, Apple vs. Google, is actually quite interesting.

Muslims aren't any different than the rest of us

They have incredibly bad taste in overwrought ugly gigantic pieces of shit too!

Just south of the Grand Mosque in Mecca, the Muslim world’s holiest site, a kitsch rendition of London’s Big Ben is nearing completion. Called the Royal Mecca Clock Tower, it will be one of the tallest buildings in the world, the centerpiece of a complex that is housing a gargantuan shopping mall, an 800-room hotel and a prayer hall for several thousand people. Its muscular form, an unabashed knockoff of the original, blown up to a grotesque scale, will be decorated with Arabic inscriptions and topped by a crescent-shape spire in what feels like a cynical nod to Islam’s architectural past. To make room for it, the Saudi government bulldozed an 18th-century Ottoman fortress and the hill it stood on.

To mix my religious metaphors, "JESUS CHRIST, what a fucking eyesoar!".

Not just ugly, but derivative. Well, if there's one thing religions good for besides pointless wars, it's spending money on building gigantic buildings displaying how awesome it is to spend it's adherents money...as opposed to feeding and housing the poorer of the believers.

Even as a non-religious type, I find the kaaba kind of awesome in both its grandeur and simplicity...especially considering it's current religious sponsor ripped off a dopey pagan rock the way Christians ripped off a Roman holiday and called it Christmas.

Well, now it is both less grand and more tacky.

Now, every religion has been consistently tacky, I just hate to see more modern updates. And yes, I'm thinking about the Crystal Cathedral or any number of modern megachurches.

So "idolatry" is bad...unless it's really, really in bad taste.

Looks like Michael Bloomberg reads too many Chuck Todd tweats

After all, snow is sooooooooooooooooo overrated.

At 3:58 a.m. on Christmas Day, the National Weather Service upgraded its alert about the snow headed to New York City, issuing a winter storm watch. By 3:55 p.m., it had declared a formal blizzard warning, a rare degree of alarm. But city officials opted not to declare a snow emergency — a significant mobilization that would have, among other things, aided initial snow plowing efforts.

Well, knock me over with a feather

Who could not have anticipated?

Top officials in several Arab countries have close links with the CIA, and many officials keep visiting US embassies in their respective countries voluntarily to establish links with this key US intelligence agency, says Julian Assange, founder of the whistle-blowing website, WikiLeaks.“These officials are spies for the US in their countries,” Assange told Al Jazeera Arabic channel in an interview yesterday.

The interviewer, Ahmed Mansour, said at the start of the interview which was a continuation of last week’s interface, that Assange had even shown him the files that contained the names of some top Arab officials with alleged links with the CIA.

Oh, and of course, these same countries undoubtedly have torture facilities we finance according to Assange.

I know he's all a condom-less cad, but does anyone really doubt this is probably correct.

But because we're the US of A it's all awesome. And those vile Arabs, Persians, and other Muslims should not be at all pissed to have their "paranoia" justified.

Wonder why they hate us.

Maybe Peter King can tell us?

We've replaced this Repressive Regime with Massive Death, Great Expense, and perpetual Civil War, USA! USA!

I guess the Fred Hiatts of the world will always have their fantasies.

Watch Fred jump on a portion of this sentence like the NRA and the last clause of the Second Amendment:

The number of Iraqi civilians killed in violence in Iraq this year fell to its lowest level since the 2003 U.S.-led invasion...

The operative word, of course, is "since", but more importantly to the all-knowing beltway, the second part of the full sentence will be left unacknowledged:

...but the decline is slowing as low-level conflict takes root, a study showed on Thursday.

Let's just shorten this to what it is. The bloodbath we enabled led to the ethnic cleansing we sponsored and we leave (sort of) a damaged people to their perpetual resentments -- and a LOT of weapons. Oh we got rid of that asshole we helped make, for the prettied-up rubble. And it only injured or killed somewhere around a million and cost a few trillion bucks.

So really how dare we castigate Bill Kristol's nearly decade-long victory lap. We're clearly the crazy ones.

(photo via the U.S. Army at flickr.com -- so see your tax dollars at work!)

[Cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Sorry about your mental disorder, enjoy Beck

Figures:

Scientists in dreary old Englandtowne have learned that people who cleave to a more conservative ideology have a larger amygdala, the part of the brain that controls "anxiety and emotion," and a smaller anterior cingulate, which controls bravery and optimism.

A finding that explains both FoxNews and Chickenhawks in a single paragraph.

Oh, and let us look at (according to Wikipedia) today's Exhibit A:

His favorite football team is the Philadelphia Eagles and his favorite player is Michael Vick. Despite being a Vick fan, Carlson did remark on the December 28, 2010, edition of the Fox News program Hannity that Michael Vick "should have been executed..."

He loved Michael Vick until Obama got involved, leaving this situation.

Tucker loves Michael Vick the way Mark David Chapman loved John Lennon.

Comparison not made for Godwinian Purposes

Because I'm not at all saying he's a Nazi. But if you are going to make this statement...

Like any war, this one is ultimately about willpower, and America has an advantage in Petraeus, one of the strongest-willed people you could hope to meet.

Yes, the "willpower" of one man is the most important component of any war or battle.

Just ask the Germans at Stalingrad.

By the way, I include just that line. If you have a Patraeus-like iron-will you may be able to read a few more paragraphs of David Ignatius' column. But be forewarned you can literally see this took Ignatius several days to write because he had to stop for a while after every paragraph and masturbate.

If internet pages could stick together, this column would be both less voluminous and more accurate.

In fact, we have an action shot...so to speak (and very briefly NSFW) of David Ignatius writing this column.

Nobody could have anticipated

Pat Buchanan using immigration statistics from a white-supremacist website.

Statistics more convincing in original german.

Meanwhile, Pat continues to draw an ample paycheck from MSNBC...who should he someday be fired (and it will probably take him stabbing a black hispanic man with a burning cross during a beer hall putsch...as long as the victim isn't also gay) will be promptly snatched up to host a show with Juan Williams on FoxNews.

As they always say in the NFL

Any team can be any team on any given Tuesday.

And, as a Viking fan, how noteworthy that Brad Childress' mentor could not challenge a late and clearly wrong call "because he is out of timeouts"?

Oh, and as Tucker "Lapdance" Carlson wants Vick executed for his crimes doesn't that mean that Tucker should get at least 5 to 10 years for being criminally a douche and hurting America?

A good question

What happens if Israel ceases to be a democracy?

...there's very little Israel's right-wing government has done in the past year or so to suggest that it is willing to wean itself from its addiction to West Bank settlements, and the expansion of settlements bodes ill for the creation of a Palestinian state -- and the absence of Palestinian statehood means that Israel will one day soon confront this crucial question concerning its democratic nature: Will it grant West Bank Arabs the right to vote, or will it deny them the vote? If it grants them the vote, this will be the end of Israel as a Jewish state; if it denies them the vote in perpetuity, it will cease to be a democratic state.

Considering we are not allowed to criticize the actions of Israel's right-wing government I imagine we'll just continue to pretend. After all it's what we do with our government.

Sarah Palin's Alaska

Is full of people that cannot stand her.

We've polled Palin's favorability in ten states over the last couple months. In Alaska just 33% of voters have a favorable opinion of her to 58% with a negative one.

Golden Years

I guess that makes just him and Fred Barnes.

Longing for the early years of the Bush administration, Afghan President Hamid Karzai has been consumed by anti-U.S. conspiracy theories, convinced American officials are now working against him, according to a diplomatic cable from the U.S. ambassador to Afghanistan...wistfully longing for the early days of the Bush administration, which he referred to as a "golden age."

I guess there haven't been any recent pipeline kickbacks and big bags o' cash.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Republican of the day!

Kentuckian Mark Cothren shot this hairless animal earlier in the week because he

"feared what it was, since he did not recognize it."

I have to get on an airplane early this morning

What are the odds today will be a particularly stupid Richard Cohen column?

And I'll miss it.

Further down the ol' trail

It seems several years ago but it was a mere 18 months past that Mark Sanford of South Carolina turned the Appalachian Trail into the world's funniest metaphor. Well as hard as it is to believe, Sanford is still Governor of South Carolina and will be for a couple more days. Yet, like David Vitter and John Ensign as a Republican it's all good:

He will be replaced by his chosen successor. Tea party supporters across the country have taken up his messages about fiscal responsibility. Friends say his mid-life crisis is over.

Just in time for the book advance.

I tell ya' if the late great Democrat Edmund Muskie was alive he'd be crying and being disqualified from office over it -- just like John Boehner.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Question

I had just finished reading about South Carolina's Secession Ball (okay, so I'm a bit behind on news), when I read Attaturk's post below, and I have a question.

If we're going to have four years of "celebrations," commemorations, and re-enactments, are we going to celebrate, commemorate, or re-enact General Sherman's March?

Are we?

What E.J. Dionne says

This coming April will mark the 150th anniversary of the start of the American Civil War.

So in addition to Ken Burns' the Civil War being released on Blu-Ray and being played in advance during a pledge drive it might be good to remember to not let history be sidetracked.

The cause of the Civil War was the determination of a group of wealthy elites that dominated the discourse and politics of a region of the country believed that they had a right to own and control a group of human beings of a different race and maintain -- nay -- spread such a policy in the nation to even more territory.

Period. End of Story.

Prettify, re-write, and/or deny it all you will but at it's heart that is what is was, and all it was about. There are few such clear things in history, if you are here to defend the South and deny it, than you have no greater punishment then living with a lie.

And hopefully they are all prepared to care for them

via Gawker

Seriously

Happily no one has died or committed a felony...that I know of...but otherwise has any pro sports team ever had a more bizarrely comical year than the one the Minnesota Vikings are having? Three straight weather-related weird games (and all of them to be big losses too - one just hasn't happened yet but will); their octogenarian (and treasonous) QB taking pictures of his privates; and of course crushing underachievement.

Season cannot end soon enough.

That's Entertainment...or something

Two vital news stories broke and I will discuss them in order of importance (least to most):

Republicans plan to lift the ban on the use of electronic gadgets like the iPad, iPhone and BlackBerry on the House floor.

John Boehner gets to make tee times from the Speakers' chair...and now porn is not just for office chambers.

And the first member of Congress caught on C-Span looking at foot fetish porn is? I'm guessing it will be Jet's fan Peter King.

But that's not the big news. This is!

Earlier this month an army doctor, Lieutenant Colonel Terrence Lakin, was sentenced to six months in prison and thrown out of the military after he failed to turn up for a tour of duty in Afghanistan, arguing that because of Obama's foreign birth his orders as commander-in-chief were illegal.

[Orly] Taitz said that she was now trying to turn the Lakin story into a musical, and is appealing for Andrew Lloyd Webber to contact her.

That's right... ORLYHOMA!

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Question

Why is it soothing to look at a lit Christmas tree?

Discuss.

Also: Blizzard!

Finally a chance to check out the porn sites and make tee times

The last one is particularly important to Boehner of Orange.

Republicans plan to lift the ban on the use of electronic gadgets like the iPad, iPhone and BlackBerry on the House floor.

It really is aonly a matter of time before C-Span picks up someone viewing FleshBot.

I'm sure it's true love

It's completely non-creepy...really:

Hugh Hefner, the twice-married founder of Playboy, is taking the plunge again.

Hefner, 84, said on Saturday in a posting on Twitter that he and his girlfriend Crystal Harris, 24, got engaged on Friday.

"When I gave Crystal the ring, she burst into tears. This is the happiest Christmas weekend in memory," Hefner tweeted.

Within memory...yeah, I bet.

The company you creep

I imagine there are more trite and stupid things than pardoning a murderer...for tourism, but not many.

So New Mexico is contemplating pardoning Billy the Kid (aka William Bonnie aka Henry McCarty) -- which will really come in handy for him.

But I come not to go into detail over that, but over one of the comments...

Ah, quit your whining! New Mexico elected Richardson for better or for worse. Besides, if they can make a hero out of Abe Lincoln then why not Henry McCarty too?

Um, what now?

Bully pulpits

For those of you who believe, here's two divergent holiday messages from religious leaders:

First -- "OMG, class warfare!"

The archbishop of Canterbury today said that the burden of the economic downturn should be "fairly shared", amid fears that the less well-off in society were being hit the hardest. In his Christmas Day sermon, Dr Rowan Williams spoke of "a lasting sense the most prosperous have yet to shoulder their load".

Second -- the timeless classic, 'being an asshole':

A high-level priest on the morning show of the largest television station in Greece blamed world Jewry for Greece's financial problems.

The Metropolite of Piraeus Seraphim also blamed world Jewry for other ills in the country during his appearance on Mega TV.

Mixing Freemasons with Jewish bankers such as Baron Rothschild and world Zionism, the Metropolite said that there is a conspiracy to enslave Greece and Christian Orthodoxy. He also accused international Zionism of trying to destroy the family unit by promoting one-parent families and same-sex marriages.

Thirteen minutes into the program the Greek host asked the Metropolite, "Why do you disagree with Hitler's policies? If they are doing all this, wasn't he right in burning them?"

The Metropolite answered, "Adolf Hitler was an instrument of world Zionism and was financed from the renowned Rothschild family with the sole purpose of convincing the Jews to leave the shores of Europe and go to Israel to establish the new Empire."

And then they settled down to watch Glenn Beck.

What Did You Give?

365 Days of Smear

The Year on Fox & Friends...more lies than Roger Ailes has ass-dimples.

D'uh!

It is after-all the former (and to some extent current) residence of the Kenyan-usurper!

“If [the Obama] Administration brings Al Qaeda terrorists to Illinois, our state and the Chicago Metropolitan Area will become ground zero for Jihadist terrorist plots, recruitment and radicalization.”

We all remember when Al Qaeda staged the Haymarket Square Terrorist Rebellion, and had Mrs. O'Leary's cow as an agent!

What’s a little war mongering between earnings reports?

Well, I see our foreign policy has really learned it's lessons...and that lesson is how much of this profit goes to the Caymans?

Despite sanctions and trade embargoes, over the past decade the United States government has granted special licenses allowing American companies to do billions of dollars in business with Iran and other countries blacklisted as state sponsors of terrorism, an examination by The New York Times has found.

All in the name of profits...oh sure, maybe some GE machinery parts get caught through now and again, but really this is about making sure states we call the axis of evil are not deprived of the greatest of our natural resources...

the law, pushed by the farm lobby and other industry groups, was written so broadly that allowable humanitarian aid has included cigarettes, Wrigley’s gum, Louisiana hot sauce, weight-loss remedies, body-building supplements and sports rehabilitation equipment sold to the institute that trains Iran’s Olympic athletes.

It's almost as though all that posturing about how evil some state is, is just posturing.

Hard to believe, huh?

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Christmas Blues

Last night, The GC told me that Christopher Dylan Shea, the actor who provided the voice of Linus in "A Charlie Brown Christmas", died earlier this year. He should have made The Lives They Lived. RIP.

Does Laura Bush have an alibi?

Man Drives Classic Muscle Car onto George Bush's Lawn.

There are many new and novel things we've seen this NFL Season

Oh there have been the familiar...Brett Favre throwing picks for example. But did you really think you'd see his alleged wang?

But since Broadway Joe donned panty-hose there has always been something freaky about the Jets.

It was there that the Ol' Gunslinger doth slung his other gun, and it is there that we now have this...



Rex Ryan's wife, alleged foot fetishist.

If it becomes Mark "Dirty" Sanchez, I do believe we've hit maximum freak.

Little known Jets' fact...

Weeb Ewbank was a furry.


(it's fun to make fun of other teams when your team sucks)

Tip O' the Iceberg

This sounds like some sort of circa-2002 bullcrap -- or the worst Bond Villain plot ever -- but anyone who read Lawrence Wright's 'The Looming Tower' can fathom this is possible, but not very likely to have been pulled off:

The al Qaeda group that built two toner-cartridge bombs in an unsuccessful attempt to blow up planes in October also has contemplated spreading poison on salad bars and buffets at U.S. hotels and restaurants, U.S. officials told CNN Tuesday.

I imagine this story will set Gretchen Carlson's little "googlin' and cipherin' fingers" afire on Fox & Friends.

Of course, we all know other terrorists groups have already successfully carried out this mission.

Next up, Al Qaeda's secret plot to poison eggs.

Better get ready to invade another country...

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Banned Words of 2011™: Culling The List

I've cut a couple below. We've got to get down to ten. What else needs to go? What must stay? No more additions!

Because it's never too early to put the world on notice...

1. Frenemies
2. Social Media Pointless to ban it. It's all everyone's going to talk about for at least another year or so.
3. Sexting So very Tiger Woods, i.e., so very passé.
4. Obamabot
5. How's that workin' out for ya?
6. Establishment
7. Mainstream
8. Lamestream
9. Emboldened Not annoying enough to be banned.
   
10. Litmus Test
11. Blowout preventer Not what we'll remember about the BP disaster.
    
12. Top Kill See "Blowout preventer"
    
13. Real Housewives of ___________
14. Gaga I liked her on DADT.
15. Junk Shot Can't even remember to what this refers.
    
16. Enthusiasm Gap Didn't really have legs. Really only relevant the month or so before elections. We may have to revisit this in 2012.
17. Mixologist/Mixology This may be too east cost liberal elite.
    
18. Folks (when uttered by any politician)
19. Elites
20. Hysterical"Breathless" is more ubiquitous.
    
21. Breathless
22. Fee Fees
23. Structural Unemployment Too econo-blog centered to ban.
24. Epistemic Closure This one is really too bloggy-circle-jerkish to warrant total banning.
25. Hippie Punching
    
26. Bipartisan
27. The American People
28. Homeland

Here are your 2010, 2009, and 2008 lists.

I Love It ...

...when thrice-married sons and fathers of petty criminals lecture others about "morality" and "obligation".

Oh, and you firefighters and police officers who are pissed about the Republican stance on this bill? I have a a couple of questions for you, specifically, how did you vote in 2000? 2004? 2008?

I have a feeling he'll be more than willing to work on the next Holiday though

Jim DeMint picks his second straight holiday that one cannot work near.

By my calender this is the next holiday after that.

I have a feeling DeMint won't feel the same way.

I'm flying today

I hope these frequent flyer miles result in an upgrade to reach-around.






...that's right, a trendy TSA joke.

Next up, jokes about James Forrestal.

I wonder how this guy handled their loss to the Eagles last week

Ladies and Gentlemen, the crying Giants fan:

Your Denomination is full of Bolsheviks!

I guess the War on Christmas, among other battles, is over, because it now appears that the Tea Party's Christian Right brigade have found the real villain staining modern society.

...METHODISTS!!!

Um, what now?

Tea Party Nation founder Judson Phillips has a dream: "No more Methodist Church."

A blog post on his Tea Party Nation page says that on Friday he walked by the United Methodist Building in Washington D.C., which had a sign that said, "Pass the DREAM Act." Phillips wrote: " I have a DREAM. That is, no more United Methodist Church."

Phillips explains that he was formerly a member of the church, but he left because it's "the first Church of Karl Marx," and "little more than the "religious" arm of socialism."

Now, though I'm now as much a Methodist as Marx was, I am actually a confirmed Methodist. And, I can tell you that the United Methodist Church I attended growing up in Minnesota was the religious choice of those who couldn't really get too angry about things. Dull and completely safe.

But as they say, first they came for the Methodists and I did nothing, then they came for the Episcopalians...and I realized there would be more tables available when I went out for brunch.

...or something like that.

By the way, well-known Marxist George W. Bush, is a Methodist, General Secretary Dick Cheney goes to a Methodist Church. Something that bothers a lot of Methodists more than Judson Phillips does.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Really?

The guy from the Sons of Confederate Veterans defending their little homage to the glory days of the Confederacy is named Hiter?

It must be Yahweh's War on Christmas

It's the only O'Reilly-like explanation!

A new U.S. analysis of mortality rates during different times of year found that people are more likely to die during the holidays — notably on Christmas and New Year’s Day — and researchers cannot explain the yearly spike.

Your Y.A. Tittle moment

Via the AP.

This is what I'm referring to for those of you who do not know.



BTW, you know your team stinks and has taken the night off when the highlight of the evening is the half-time program when the teams 83-year old former coach, who retired a quarter-century ago, gets a standing ovation for taking his coat off and being carried off the field in his short-sleeves by his AARP eligible former players.

Just a hint, it isn't their night...or year.

This accurately sums it all up

Apparently the beltway is noticing that John McCain is the same bitter sociopath he's always been.

...but eventually they'll be a barbecue and all will be back to a love in.

But until then, Booman sums it up best.

McCain may be a little more angry and have a few more grudges, but nothing has changed. He's always been a deeply damaged individual who is more interested in settling scores than in helping anyone. John McCain wants power so he can blow some shit up and make his enemies feel the full measure of his wrath. He wanted Sarah Palin so he could look at her ass on the campaign trail. He's really not a complicated man. He never was. He was a brat before he was captured. After he was set loose he was merely a brat with a sympathetic story he could use to trade-up in wives and launch a political career.

The Three "Wise" Men

So...

Who wants to invite Haley Barbour over for Kwanzaa?

Who wants to go to the strip club and put singles in Newt Gingrich's g-string?

Who wants to become Lindsey Graham's work out buddy so he can overcome his Donovan McNabb-like cardio-issues and have the stamina to sit on his ass and read bills?

No one?

I guess these three are going to have to settle for the wonders of technology:

A preview of the first sex game for Microsoft's Kinect has hit the Web

Still no cure for cancer...they'd probably have to use stem-cells for that anyway and we cannot have that.

In other news, I hope you all got a chance to see the lunar eclipse.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Here's a post

Just to move that picture down the page.

Newt Gingrich is so full of himself

He expects to go to strip club and have people stuff dollar bills in his pants.

(pic from here, and yes I'm sorry...but not too sorry)

Lindsey Graham's "Cardio-Vascular" health will disappoint Mike Shanahan

This may very well be the lamest excuse I've ever heard (and I just heard "I missed the DADT vote to attend a party"):

Graham: I Was Forced To ‘Ignore’ START, Because Other ‘Major Issues’ Were ‘Wearing On The Body’

Oh, it will fit our mood then...

Tonight is the Winter Solstice, what is even cooler is that there will also be a lunar eclipse in the wee hours, about 1:30 a.m. eastern time. This has not happened before since the 17th century, or since well before the United States was founded. I'm sure somehow this is Obama's fault.

Although why Gawker is proclaiming it the darkest night in more than 300 years is beyond me. An eclipsed full-moon is still a hell of a lot brighter than a new moon.

Let's hope so

It's not just that Jon Stewart will be EXTRA angry, it's that this is such a dickish move to not get this done otherwise -- and Republicans should be slapped with it everytime they play politics with 9/11.

Senators See Chance For Passing 9 / 11 Health Bill

A Visit from St. Prickless

There are a lot of Holiday traditions that people know and love. Being kind at least occasionally, spending time with family, music and cookies and liquor and trees.

But I'm going to guess, one of those holiday traditions is not Bill Kristol writing bad parodies of bad poems?

But that is apparently just the tradition Kristol, who you must admit did bring back the tradition of invading countries for stupid reasons, wants to aim for.

And what better than re-writing 'A Visit from St. Nicholas' a poem already so trite it seemed beyond making worse, but this is Bill Kristol we're talking about.

Obamacare’s reeling, there’s progress in ’Stan,

It’s important next year that we stick with the plan.

By then we’ll have entered the era of Boehner:

Our pocketbooks fuller, our politics saner.

Is that a re-write of Clement Clarke Moore or a line from The Joker in The Dark Knight?

The 'Era of Boehner'? I don't think my tear ducts could take it.

Once again, Here's the fuller "pocket book" that Bill Kristol considers "saner".




Well, Kristol's pocket-book is fuller -- and he's as just as "sane" as ever.

[Cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Humanity's creative fire

Thank goodness there is no modern advance, no matter how trivial, we cannot put our own societal stamp upon in the most predictable manner.

The first "sex game" for the Microsoft Kinnect has come forth. (Includes NSFW youtube of said game).

A great day yesterday

For civil rights, though it must be remembered DADT in only dead when the new rules are implemented...as they have not yet. But still it should happen a little faster than with "a deliberate speed".

And now John McCain and the vast majority of Republican Congresspersons can go down in history as a modern Theodore Bilbo, George Wallace, and Orville Faubus.

Serves them right.

Ouch!

From a review of George W. Bush's Decision Points:

It would be nice to say that Bush grew in office — like Henry V, the wastrel youth and son of a famous father to whom he was often compared. But judging from this book, it didn’t happen. Although Bush is admirable for stopping, he probably was more fun when he drank.

I have to say that I didn't expect that from Michael Kinsley.

More at the link.

The Second Most Important Reason to Repeal DADT

To piss off ruined, bitter, twice-failed presidential candidate John McCain (R-AZ).

(Okay, maybe that's really the third or fourth reason, but you get my point.)

What a jerk.

Update: YAY! Simple Majority time, McCain!

That's FoxNews for ya!

Who can be surprised that FoxNews would respond to a University study finding its viewers were by far the most misinformed consumers of news with an ad hominem attack that turned out to be...very inaccurate?

Worst President Ever!

Via here.

And look at that growth under Bill Clinton and his tax increases.

How Many Clichés Can You Fit Into a Single NYT Opinion?

Count 'em!

I Enjoy a Good Obit

Here are some interesting excerpts from Blake Edwards':

A lifelong depressive, Mr. Edwards told The New York Times in 2001 that at one point his depression was so bad that he became “seriously suicidal.” After deciding that shooting himself would be too messy and drowning too uncertain, he decided to slit his wrists on the beach at Malibu while looking at the ocean. But while he was holding a two-sided razor, his Great Dane started licking his ear, and his retriever, eager for a game of fetch, dropped a ball in his lap. Trying to get the dog to go away, Mr. Edwards threw the ball, dropped the razor and dislocated his shoulder. “So I think to myself,” he said, “this just isn’t a day to commit suicide.” Trying to retrieve the razor, he stepped on it and ended up in the emergency room.

Those dogs knew something bad was up. They really are Man's Best Friends.

After [Mr. Edwards and Patricia Walker's] divorce, he married Ms. Andrews, the Academy Award-winning musical comedy star, in 1969.

At the time, Ms. Andrews’s public image was of the endlessly cheerful governess she had played in "The Sound of Music." In an interview the couple gave Playboy in 1982, Mr. Edwards recalled how, before he had met Ms. Andrews, he got laughs at a party where people were speculating on the reason for her phenomenal success.

“I can tell you exactly what it is,” he said he told the partygoers. “She has lilacs for pubic hair.”

Ms. Andrews sent Mr. Edwards a lilac bush shortly after they had started dating, she told Playboy, and their marriage lasted 41 years.

...

The early 1970s were not kind to either of them. “Darling Lili” was a bloated box-office bomb. And what Mr. Edwards called his first “personal” film, the western "Wild Rovers" (1971), was cut to ribbons by the president of MGM, James Aubrey. Then Mr. Aubrey took over the editing of Mr. Edwards’s next picture, "The Carey Treatment" (1972), before Mr. Edwards had even finished shooting it.

“I felt like an animal who goes off into the weeds and sucks its paw,” Mr. Edwards later told a reporter. Instead he went off to England and Switzerland, where he wrote the screenplays for “S.O.B.” and “Victor/Victoria.”

It was the success of “10” that allowed Mr. Edwards to make those movies. And “10” was his revenge on Mr. Aubrey. “Right after ‘Wild Rovers,’ Aubrey called me into his office and told me he hated a screenplay I’d written and refused to pay me the last moneys due on it,” Mr. Edwards told Playboy. Mr. Edwards said he responded, “You don’t have to pay me, but give me the script back.” That script became “10.”

RIP.

Shorter GOP

Not all that many American Muslims are radical, but we'll still do this anyway...




So as to cause them to understandably swell in numbers.

Wow, a useful phone app that doesn't involve it being useful as a, you know, phone

Via Gizmodo, this iPhone application lets you instantly translate things like roadsigns into a language you can understand...which certainly sounds safe if you are driving at the time.

But still, for those of you with iPhones -- and therefore likely with AT&T as a provider -- it gives you something to use since you are likely unable to make or receive phone calls at the time.

Things I never thought I'd say

Joe Lieberman is right.

Should have spent that money on Volcano monitoring

In early 2009 the alleged newest star in the Republican firmament Bobby Jindal was given the chance to reply to a speech by President Obama. To say he crashed and burned would be a disservice to fiery wrecks. Poor Jindal picked a very poor time to go through puberty. But one part his speech stands out:

Instead of trusting us to make wise decisions with our own money, they passed the largest government spending bill in history - ... $140 million for something called ‘volcano monitoring.’ Instead of monitoring volcanoes, what Congress should be monitoring is the eruption of spending in Washington, DC.

Flash-forward more than a year and Bobby Jindal is going to show all those big spending Washington a-holes how a state-based Republican does it. There's a massive oil spill and Bobby says spend $200 million on sand dunes to protect the shoreline, even though most said "that's a bad idea."

Result?

The big set of sand barriers erected by Louisiana's governor to protect the coastline at the height of the Gulf oil spill is being criticized by a presidential commission as a colossal, $200 million waste of money so far.

But Bobby is not deterred:

...despite the commission's scathing report, he plans to move ahead with the project

[This poster admits he is pretending that this is not EXACTLY the same pattern present in yesterday's Afghanistan report]

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Reading is Fundamental: 2010 Edition

A selection of books I read this year below. Tell me what you read and and would recommend for 2011 in comments.

1. The Dark Heart of Italy, by Tobias Jones
2. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society, by Mary Ann Shaffer
3. The Puttermesser Papers, by Cynthia Ozick
4. The Glass Castle, by Jeanette Walls
5. The Ask, by Sam Lipsyte
6. The Privileges, by Jonathan Dee
7. Frankly, My Dear: Gone With the Wind Revisited, by Molly Haskell
8. Last Night in Twisted River, by John Irving
9. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, by Stieg Larsson
10. Wolf Hall, by Hilary Mantel
11. Christ Stopped at Eboli: The Story of a Year, by Carlo Levi
12. One Day, by David Nicolls
13. Miss Conduct's Mind Over Manners, by Robin Abrahams
14. The Adventures of Augie March, by Saul Bellow
15. Famous Last Words, by Timothy Findley
16. Freedom, by Jonathan Franzen
17. Only Yesterday: An Informal History of the 1920s, by Frederick Lewis Allen
18. Battle Cry of Freedom, by James M. McPherson
19. Barney's Version, by Mordecai Richler
20. Housekeeping, by Marilynne Robinson
21. Let the Great World Spin, by Colum McCann
22. In the middle of Our Mutual Friend, by Charles Dickens, right now. Think I'll make it by December 31st.
    

Time Magazine

Sure has an "august panel" picking their Person of the Year.

Maybe some day it'll be comprised of literate people.

Oh noz, class warfare!

Time for FoxNews to get on this and assail the IRS not going after welfare queens in their Cadillacs (it's what Ronald Reagan would do):

The Internal Revenue Service is making it a bit riskier to cheat on your taxes.

The tax agency increased the number of returns it audited by nearly 11 percent this year, statistics released Wednesday show. Wealthy taxpayers and big businesses were most likely to be targeted.

The wealthy and big business more likely to be audited? Who could have anticipated...the right thing being done!

Well, this won't be reported too much over here

This has ruined so many weekends on Lake Como:

An Italian court upped the sentences for 23 CIA agents convicted in absentia of abducting an Egyptian imam in one of the biggest cases against the US "extraordinary rendition" programme.

The 23 CIA agents, originally sentenced in November 2009 to five to eight years in prison, had their sentences increased to seven to nine years on appeal in what one of the defence lawyers described as a "shocking blow" for the US.

More evidence of the depravity of the rendition program. Although one does imagine that ol' Silvio had his mitts in this somewhere as well.

Deja - ever damn time - vu

Well once again Nancy Pelosi came through for Barack Obama in among the most unappreciated jobs by a Speaker in history (hard to believe that would be the fate of a woman, huh?). This time the House passed a stand alone repeal of DADT.

And now that Senator Jim DeMint has given up on having the new START treaty read in it's entirety because he ran out of sudoku puzzles, it may well be that DADT repeal will get one last chance in the Senate.

Olympia Snowe has joined co-President Collins in saying she'll vote for repeal so that's 59 out of the required 60.

Leaving the fence sitters at Lisa Murkowski and Scott Brown, that is if Blanche Lincoln is done taking advantage of her last days of congressional dental insurance. Both have stated they're inclined to repeal DADT, but you know that score. What the citizens want doesn't matter when there's a FoxNews talking point to consider.

It's sad to have to put it this way, but how are we going to be have our "hopes" crushed on this one this time? Will it not even be voted on to save Jon Kyl's Christmas?

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Celebrity "B-Girl"

I know in my own life I always deal with disappointment in unrelated personal matters by doing something other than falsely claiming some made up person of a certain minority group tried to rape me.

Most of all because it's a fucking lie, but also because it is tough enough both for rape victims and/or a minority person in this, or any country, as it is.

But that's just me, and pretty much everyone else.

(image via PunditKithen)

You have to Admit one thing about Limbaugh

He clearly also has a much larger cup size.

Limbaugh Repeatedly Calls First Lady "Michelle, My Butt"

Also, I'm wondering, is he implying his ass somehow kept Michelle Obama out of Vietnam too?

So, wait a minute

Assange might get extradicted to America, but Cheney might not get extradicted to Nigeria?

Yet another disappointing Chismakkakwanzaa.

Julian Assange is FAT!

Just understandably mixing up my ad hominem Republican talking points.

It's how they got ready for the Third-World

Well, here's a shocker:

A jury has ruled the Lorillard Tobacco Co. tried to entice black children to become smokers by handing out free cigarettes and has awarded $71 million in compensatory damages to the estate and son of a woman who died of lung cancer.

This was done during the 1950s. I grew up white, middle-class, and in small town 'Murica, so while my father smoked, I never got freebies.

No, we just had to get buy on buying candy cigarettes and pretending we were old enough to smoke...getting some of us ready for the time we actually would. Of course, I'm in my mid-40s and by the time I reached adulthood it was a lot less cool for my generation. I've also never liked the sensation of inhaling smoke so I wasn't even an occasional pot smoker in college. But I do wonder what would have happened if I was 20 years older.

Still, this method definitely came in handy when the Tobacco Companies had to hook kids overseas.

Sons of Wank-archy

On December 20th in Charleston, South Carolina, the "Sons of Confederate Veterans" will hold a celebratory "Secession Ball" to mark the 150th Anniversary of the state seceding.

...ball attendees, who will pay $100 a ticket, will don formal, period dress, eat and dance the Virginia Reel as a band plays “Dixie.” The evening’s highlight will be a play reenacting the signing of South Carolina’s Ordinance of Secession 150 years ago, which severed the state’s ties with the Union and paved the way for the Civil War.

Okay, first, they're reenacting signing ceremonies now? They used to limit this middle-aged activity for people too racist for SCA to Pickett's Charge or for these folks the joy of 'The Massacre at Fort Pillow'. But signing ceremonies? I guess the reenactor demo is getting old.

The last few times we heard from the 'Sons of Confederate Veterans' they were either successfully pressuring Obama to send a traditional commemorative wreath (sign of things to come) or unsuccessfully attempting to get the History channel to run an ad during 'Ice Road Truckers' about the poor oppressed slaveholders of the antebellum.

How many Republican Congresspersons from ol' Dixie are "proud members"? Or is it just all of them with a few Democrats thrown in?

[Cross-Posted at Firedoglake]

Speechless

My sibling just sent me this:



What is it with the singing politicians?

What's Wrong With This Paragraph?

NYT:

Nearly every time this country has expanded its social safety net or tried to guarantee civil rights, passionate opposition has followed.

The opposition stems from the tension between two competing traditions in the American economy. One is the laissez-faire tradition that celebrates individuality and risk-taking. The other is the progressive tradition that says people have a right to a minimum standard of living — time off from work, education and the like.

Why is taking these two thoughts to the next logical step so fucking hard for "The Journal of Record"? Sheesh.

John Boehner's on Match.com, and he's found a hook up

Pretty much completely pilfered from here.

All the rumors about our fair state

Iowa is that the same-named University of Iowa (disclosure Atta J. Turk, earned his star-centered Podiatry ... or some related professional degree there and learned how to speak of himself in the 3rd person) football program is about to suspend a healthy portion of the football team.

Apparently they were partying with Miley Cyrus too much.

Usually mass suspensions in the Big-10 have been related to various basketball programs, especially Minnesotas.

But given Iowa has just been placed in the ridiculously named "Legends" division it appears that several are about to enter into that category. [Note: as opposed to the laughably named "Leaders" division -- wtf, how much was the focus-group smoking? Did they borrow those idiots from the Dominos ads?]

The French make an appropriate salute to Brett Favre

The view from the Eiffel Tower via BoingBoing:



The F-K stands for "Farve" french word for sucks that starts with "K".

What do I look like Babelfish?

Yeah, she fits right in at the WaPo

Jennifer Rubin, the new sociopath at the WaPo editorial page manages to write an editorial with two main points...

...we need to make human rights a central theme in our bilateral and multilateral diplomacy regarding Iran.

Alright, fair enough. Can you give us an example of how a "human rights" would manifest itself?

Every nuclear scientist who has a "car accident" and every computer virus buys us time, setting back the timeline for Iran's nuclear capability, while exacting a price for those who cooperate with the nuclear program.

Notice the handy-dandy quotes? A pair of Iranian scientists were killed by a car-bomb in the last few weeks.

Summarized succinctly by Justin Elliott:

Rubin wants the United States to make human rights a central theme in its Iran policy -- and to indiscriminately assassinate civilian scientists.

I can totally see why Fred Hiatt hired her. Richard Cohen is going to find it hard to not email her his favorite sex jokes.

Now FoxNews will have to piss on his grave

But Richard Holbrooke apparently had one last piece of advice the President should follow:

...family members said, his final words were to his Pakistani surgeon: "You've got to stop this war in Afghanistan."

Good day in the Atrios' household

The Phillies deprive the Yankees of their self-proclaimed God-given right to sign all important free agents.

Jeebus, three of the best starters in baseball in one rotation, they're the 1970s Orioles with better hitters.

The good news for me is this gives the Twins a chance to only lose the the Yankees in the first round 3 games to 1 instead of a sweep.

So, in summary, no matter what it's still "Steve Gilliard" the Yankees.

Peter King will buy a bag full

Only $499.99 to touch Brett Favre's balls.

...fill in cell phone message joke here...

One Republican World

I have to admit, I thought various aches and pains and a desire to sleep later almost caused me to miss making this post, but I'm nothing if not an ironman -- when it comes to sitting and typing. Take that Brett Fav-rah.

With that in mind let us "circle the drain globe" and look at how the Republicans in Congress can do more than aspire to have deep bromances with former KGB agents and bring this country the kind of tourist opportunities that other nations now possess.

How about tourist packages to places people will reclaim again from nature!?

Ukraine plans to open up the sealed zone around the Chernobyl reactor to visitors who wish to learn more about the tragedy that occurred nearly a quarter of a century ago, the Emergency Situations Ministry said Monday.

No doubt the reviews will be glowing.

Or maybe you can save up to go to World Cup 2022 in Qatar, where one of the world's great sporting events will have something right out of the Republican Party Platform:

FIFA President Sepp Blatter says gay supporters should not have sex in Qatar, as homosexuality is banned in the Gulf State.

That's the kind of "progressive" repression we've learned to expect from fundamentalism with a big checkbook smiling face. I'm sure there was no corruption at all in the decision to award such a forward thinking place that event.

[Cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Conflicts of Interests are for Non-Republicans

IOKIYAR, Judicial Division:

Henry E. Hudson, the federal judge in Virginia who just ruled health care reform unconstitutional, owns between $15,000 and $50,000 in a GOP political consulting firm that worked against health care reform. You don't say!

"Appearance of impropriety" is defined as not be a conservative alone.

To be fair, Not all right-wingers are cranking one out over Sarah Palin

Via Balloon Juice, I see that some have stopped thinking about Sarah Palin asking which direction the Sun comes up and moved on to having homoerotic thoughts about Vladimir Putin.

They look into his barechest and see his soul peer into their mildly expanding pants.



Erick Erickson is really quite freaky, and not in the way you'd imagine, no he's freaky in a Republican Caucus Gathering kind of way. How many wetsuits and ball-gags does he put on before blogging.

So Erick, how big is that strap-on you tie to your desk chair?

Now to be fair, Erick said he got it from a friend via email. So it's good to see that Carl Palidino is putting that landslide behind him and getting back to normal.

Jizz the reason for the season

Jim Hoft is going to need to launder his Christmas Stocking, as he has apparently attempted to stuff it while closing his eyes and cranking:



Meanwhile, people are on the path to eternal rest because of Arizona's Republican Death Panel.

What Would Lee Greenwood Do?

Probably point and laugh and accept his royalty check.

Unleash the stereotypes!

The Jets trainer, Sal Alosi - yes, he's Italian, "kneecaps" a guy (not in the traditional, but still literal sense) in New Jersey.

Happy Anniversary Plus One Day

It was ten years ago, plus one day, that Conservatives who railed for years about "activist judges" managed to get the Supreme Court of the United States to decide that the most important thing in a democracy isn't actually counting votes, but getting a result, especially one that fits the Court's ideological majority.

And they summed up the wisdom of then 213 years of Constitutional scholarship thusly:

None are more conscious of the vital limits on judicial authority than are the members of this Court, and none stand more in admiration of the Constitution’s design to leave the selection of the President to the people, through their legislatures, and to the political sphere.

But they were going to decide anyway. Oh, but it wasn't a precedent for future courts.

After that the Democratic Nominee...failed to put up any fight.



But that was a precedent.

And, of course, the last decade has really worked out well for the country as a result.

[Cross-posted at Firedoglake]

But of course

I just saw an ad for '60 Minutes' with an interview of John Boehner and guess what, in a 10 second ad they guy is already crying, literally blubbering, uncontrollably, again.

What the fuck happened this time, did he three-putt the 18th?

If this had only waited 30 hours or so

Brett Favre could have gone out like Charleton Heston in Number One.

Low threshold

I guess my dog and her three and two-legged walk is telling me after 11 plus years, it is time to buy some dog-booties.

Age before beauty. Poor thing, but she sure plays her suffering to the hilt.

What a piece of shit

Oh the Metrodome roof collapsed again?

No one was hurt so allow me to say...



I have to wonder where the game, already delayed, is going to be played. Perhaps the Gophers new outdoor stadium.

Which could be biblically awesome in it's miserableness if they play it at night.

The forecast for tomorrow night in Minnesota?

- 6 F, windchill -11, so not much wind expected...which is kind of sad in a way.

Good luck NFL.

On the other hand, with the Vikings pushing for a new stadium, the Viking owners must think this is a timely gift. Now they can really blackmail the legislature.