He cannot even buy affection

Taggert (as in Blazing Saddles) Romney -- who has been made into a multimillionaire thanks to his father's foreign schemes investments -- cannot even make a statement about his dad that doesn't make the latter look like a gigantic tool:

CHRIS WALLACE: So, Tagg, what are family meals like?

TAGG ROMNEY: A little bit of craziness. Dad always goes in line first because he doesn't want to wait for all the grand children because it takes forever. Parents are cutting their meat and he's usually finished by the time the rest of us sit down.